There are plenty of research studies that show a boom in relationship breakups in January. If you are married, then there is a one in five chance that you have considered breaking up this month. 

For a lot of people, they have planned to break up with their partner before January however haven’t because they didn’t want to face the breakup over the festive period which is traditionally a time for families to come together. It often leaves people confused about what it all means and what will happen next. 

I am no stranger to breakups. I’ve had a fair few. In this post, I’ll be combing my personal experience to help people to cope with the end of their relationships.

So, what happens in the cold hard months or the early days of separation? Is it that bad? Will there be any light at the end of the tunnel? Will I always feel this way? What can I expect over the next few weeks or months? 

Although every person is different in the early days of a breakup there is often the denial and grief that comes with losing someone close to you. You are used to their company, and suddenly they aren’t there, and you find yourself facing life without them. It can feel incredibly lonely, and the stark change can be a challenge while the experience is an emotional one it can manifest itself as what feels like a real physical, and at times quite exquisite, pain.

This gap in your life will eventually be filled as you change your thinking and pass the initial stage. It is up to you to decide to take control back of your life and get back to being happy. It may seem like such an uphill struggle from where you are currently standing; however, I assure you that if you take little steps each day, then you will get there sooner than you think. 

Even if you loved your partner more than anything else in the world and are looking back at all of the wonderful parts of your relationship the truth is clear: they were not the right partner for you. 

If you were, then they would still be with you, and you would be happy and feeling secure, loved and cared for in your relationship. So… remove those rose-tinted glasses! Start to focus your mind on the less positive things that happened in your relationship. Don’t romanticise about the past – it’s time to get a grip if you want to move forward.

Sometimes doing the things that you both used to do may remind you of your ex. An excellent way to relieve some of that pressure is by making slight changes and doing things differently. Simple things can make a huge difference, such as shopping in a different supermarket or driving a different way to work. If you’re living alone now in the same house, then try moving around the furniture or putting up new photos around the house. Wear a new colour or try a different look. 

Remember that a breakup is not just the end of your relationship – it is also the start of a new phase in your life. While there will be some highs and lows to deal with, you will also have the chance to redesign your life the way you want it to be. Dream big and remember that anything goes from travelling the world, writing a book or even sex with someone new! It will help to get you excited about the future. 

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